I won't hesitate no more

So as promised, I am going to share with you all a little bit of my new mindset.  I know I've already talked to several of you about this. But basically, I feel refreshed, like a huge weight has been lifted from my life. I am finally feeling comfortable in my own skin again, and damn it has been a long time coming. Of course it's still a work in progress as everything is, but things are falling into place for sure. Spend some time with me and you'll see it. I've been doing things I never thought I would do, and feeling comfortable doing them. I am opening up around people I have never met and making many new friends. I am getting involved and taking on many personal goals. I even sang Karaoke the other night with some friends. Six months ago you would have never gotten me to do that. I wouldn't have come up to you to introduced myself and started up a conversation. I would have waited for you to approach me. I probably would have pre-judged you in some way or another. I wouldn't have told you about my feelings and worries and fears, and I wouldn't have been totally open or honest in doing so. I would have held back. I wouldn't have been very inviting. Right now I just feel like such an open book and I have so much fun and love to give. And I want to give that to anyone and everyone, sincerely. I just don't know what I was so afraid or who I have been hiding from these past few years. I don't know why I wasn't getting involved or meeting new people. I just didn't feel like myself, but now I do. I used to just think about opportunities for change, but now I feel like I can speak them and act on them. I am not afraid to make changes that need to be made or to pursue things that I feel like pursuing. I am genuinely a more pleasant and happy person to be around. I am honest with myself, and I feel like that is the biggest thing of all.

 Xu and Lauren I really miss you guys so much right now!!! I love you and I can't wait to see you!

This song pretty much sums everything up:

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I am saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more 
It cannot wait I'm sure

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
Please don't, please don't, please don't
There's no need to complicate
Cause our time is short
This oh this this is our fate, I'm yours